Being an only child comes with its perks, like the undivided attention, sense of independence and strong imagination. But growing up without any siblings can also have its downsides, especially if you’re a kid who just wants to play on a seesaw.
Fortunately, there’s always an opportunity for humor. We rounded up 30 funny and too-real tweets about being an only child. Enjoy!
when i was younger, i would take handfuls of corn and throw them at my dad and yell CORN ON THE BOB HAHA only because his name is Bob and not because i was an only child who was bored.
— kim 🎁🎂 (@KimmyMonte) June 14, 2018
“Basically, you have to share food just in case you need a kidney.” ~me as an only child understanding siblings
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) March 11, 2016
If you are trying to decide if having kids is right for you, my son just said, “As an only child I get all your stuff when you die.”
— beth, an alien™ (@bourgeoisalien) March 28, 2015
as an only child, it always hurt to play alone with toys made by Has-Bro.
— Myq Kaplan (@myqkaplan) July 8, 2018
When I was four I came home from hanging out with my best friend and her three siblings and dramatically closed our front door, leaned against it and declared “I am SO happy to be an only child.” #NationalSiblingsDay
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) April 10, 2018
Me to husband: What are we doing to celebrate my half birthday?
Husband: Every July 1 I’m reminded I married an only child.
— Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) July 1, 2018
Growing up as an only child, sometimes I have a hard time remembering everything is not about me. So I don’t.
— Emily Volman (@emilyvolman) October 11, 2013
If you ever wonder what being an only child is like, just imagine 3rd wheeling your parents every day
— Dom (@dominique_1718) December 27, 2017
My parents getting me walkie talkies for christmas one year was the worst thing about being an only child
— Adam Hess (@adamhess1) December 8, 2016
Being an only child means my parents thought:
(a) let’s stop, no other child we have can be better than him, or
(b) WTF WERE WE THINKING?!
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) May 5, 2014
I have no siblings so my parents told me I was an only child which made no sense. there were at least 14 other kids alive when I was younger
— kim 🎁🎂 (@KimmyMonte) February 16, 2016
my parents used to get me a Mother’s Day gift from my dog&if that doesn’t explain what being an only child is like for me then idk what does
— sophie (@sophiewheelerr) May 10, 2015
Mom keeps saying I’m her favorite daughter…
I’m an only child.
— Diamonde 💎 (@DiamondeHelper) July 4, 2018
My Lyft driver is trying to sigh louder than me and I just want to be like: sorry dude, I’m an only child, you will lose this game.
— Danielle Nussbaum (@daniellenuss) March 27, 2018
Happy Siblings Day. I’m an only child, so… I’ll just be over here in the corner, playing with my imaginary friends 😆
— Stu Schwartz (@StuntmanStu) April 10, 2018
Every year I get so pissed off when my sister doesn’t show up to thanksgiving dinner until I sober up and remember I’m an only child.
— kim 🎁🎂 (@KimmyMonte) November 24, 2016
I am an only child. I barely even share my fries with Bae.
— Nyasha Junior (@NyashaJunior) June 18, 2018
As an only child, I’m also always excited when someone wants to know my opinion on something.
— Erica C. Barnett (@ericacbarnett) June 6, 2018
Being an only child was great, except for all the times I kicked the soccer ball in my house and it didn’t come back
— Yasin Osman (@yescene) January 17, 2018
The saddest part of being an only child is that when you grow up, you’re not even a child anymore. You’re just only.
— Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) April 11, 2016
AGENT: so, tell me about yourself
ME: well I’m an only child and my entire extended family is very high-achieving so I’ve developed tons of fun strategies for self-sabotage in order to avoid my deep fear of failure
AGENT: …I mean like what do you wanna do
ME: oh haha Broadway
— Evan Maltby (@evanmaltby) June 23, 2018
I’m an only child so I’ve been taking selfies since the 70’s
— Tamer Kattan (@TamerKattan) April 22, 2018
Being an only child, I often go “wow I wish I had siblings” until I see how people fight with their siblings and I’m like “wow I’m glad I’m an only child”
— 𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕤 (@bitemelucas) May 14, 2018
worst thing about being an only child: needing praise from adults
best thing about being an only child: getting praise from adults
— Kathleen Smith (@fangirltherapy) June 30, 2017
I’m an only child. Shit be gettin lonely sometimes lmao be over here talking to myself. When I was younger I used to play both sides of games and take whoever wins as me 😂😂😂
— Brianna Marie 🎨 🔌 ✨ (@xEnoughSaidx) June 3, 2018
Am I an only child? Well, I’ve already forgotten your name, so you tell me, sir.
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) September 9, 2011