Gwen Stefani is no rookie when it comes to parenting.
The singer, who turns 49 on Wednesday, has three sons ― Kingston, 12, Zuma, 10, and Apollo, 4 ― and over the years, she’s spoken about her experience raising the boys, balancing work with parenthood and more.
In honor of her birthday, here are 15 quotes about motherhood from Stefani.
On watching her kids grow up:
“I love when they still play and you’re like, ‘Oh good. They’re still doing that.’ “[But then] there will be other things like, ‘Can I get my ears pierced?’ I’m like, ‘Um, no. No, you can’t!’”
On raising good people:
“The hardest thing to do is having a discipline chart and follow-up on all those things. It’s work, you know? But that’s where you get the results … I see a constant fear of ‘How am I gonna make sure these kids are good people?’ I feel like naturally it’s so easy for them to be naughty, and you get more and more worried about it the older they get.”
On how kids affect sleep:
“Everything I’ve done for the past five years, I’ve done while sleep-deprived.”
On adjusting to motherhood:
“In the beginning, I didn’t want to think of myself as a mother. I was like, ‘Wait a minute! Ain’t no hollaback girl is who I am!’ I had to learn quickly to accept it. Being a mother and having a career ― those are just different roles you play. You’re still the same person you were before, but now you’re more because you’re a mother too, with a lot to do.”
On life changes:
“It’s super fun being a mom, but it’s not what you think it’s going to be. And it’s really gradual. At first, your life is totally the same. You have this cute little thing that you get to drive around everywhere and you’re so proud and it’s amazing. And as they grow older, it really does start to change your life. Like, oh my God, they have school, they have to get through first grade, they have to learn to read. It starts getting so serious, and you’re like, Aaaaaaah!”
On becoming a parent:
“Parenting is terrifying, but it’s also so incredible and rewarding.”
On work/life balance:
“Getting to the studio and not being able to make it happen, but missing out on being at home, missing out on putting the kids down. What’s more important? I felt so guilty. I am letting everyone down in the studio right now; I’m letting down my kids; I’m letting down myself. Because time was so precious.”
On one of her son’s self-weaning:
“I didn’t want him to [quit]. It felt like a total rejection. It was really hormonal, and trying to stop in the middle of the tour was insane.”
On the possibility of having a gay son:
“I would be blessed with a gay son. You know that I would feel blessed about that. I just want my boys to be happy and healthy, and I just ask God to guide me every day to be a good mother because it is not an easy job … I’ve been lucky enough to have such a blessed life. I’ve been able to travel the world and meet so many different kinds of people. And it doesn’t really matter if you’re gay, straight, whatever. There are good and bad people, and I would be happy. I just want my kids to be happy, and whatever journey God gives them is their journey. I just need to be there to be the most supportive mom that I can be and that’s what I’m gonna be.”
On summer vacation:
“That routine of homework is just ‘ugh.’ By the end, you’re ready to just have them be home and have a little bit more of a flexible schedule and do fun stuff that they love to do.”
On growing up:
“I’ve never had to grow up in a way. … Time kind of stops when you’re in a band. It’s this suspended childhood, and it’s really awesome, that part of it. But then when you have a family of your own, it forces you to go into the adult world a little bit more.”
On what motherhood has taught her:
“What I learned about having kids and having a career is [it’s] not all about us. You realize that they only want you to care about them. It’s just that automatic, like, ‘You’re my mom!’”
On getting criticized for painting her sons’ nails:
“I live in truth and reality, and if somebody says something about me and I don’t know them and they’re not my friend or part of my life, it really doesn’t affect me. Of course everyone’s gonna have their perspective and their opinion, and I know what’s real and what’s honest and true, and that’s really all that matters to me and all that’s important. So, it doesn’t really bother me. As long as my boys are protected and happy and I’m spending quality time with them, whether it’s doing sports or doing nails, it really doesn’t matter.”
On her kids’ style:
“It surprises me. Sometimes I’ll dress them and they’ll say, ‘Mom, I can’t wear this in front of people!’”
On her parenting motto:
“One day at a time.”